The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid..

A couple of excerpts from Bill Bryson's book which I liked immensely.. (It's not plagiarism if you mention the source :P)
Here Bill describes Mr Milton's dive from the tallest platform into lake Ahquabi in Iowa..



I don't know what happened - whether he lost his nerve or realized he was approaching the water with a murderous velocity or what - but about 3 quarters of the way down he seemed to have second thoughts about the whole business and suddenly began to flail like someone who's chute hadn't opened. When he was perhaps 30 ft above the water he gave up flailing and tried a new tack. He spread his arms and legs wide, in the shape of an X, evidently hoping that exposing maximum amount of surface  area would somehow slow his fall..
It didn't.
He hit the water -impacted really is the word for it at approximately 600 miles an hour. At such a speed water effectively becomes a solid. I don't believe Mr Milton penetrated it at all, but just bounced off it about 15 feet, limbs suddenly very loose and then lay on top of the water, still, like an autumn leaf, spinning gently..


Another one describing how they dealt with school bullies in their time..


Their speciality was to torment any children smaller than them which was all children. The Butters were big to begin with but because they were held back year after year, they were much much larger than any other child in their class. 
Generally the best option was to have some small kid that you could offer as a sacrifice. Lumpy Kowalski was ideal for this as he was indifferent to pain and fear, or possibly just didn't speak. (It was never clear which). 
Also the Butters  were certain to be grossed out by his dirty pants, so they would merely paw him for a bit and then withdraw with pained, confused faces.




(Adopted from Bill Bryson's 'The life and times of the Thunderbolt Kid')

Are baba.. think simple..think stupid..

So I was at Aunty's Co-op Store buying the weekly rations (which in my case consists of 2235773483421 packets of Maggi and a slightly fewer number of Ruffles Lays packets.. take that you smirking gym goers. Atleast I lead a happy life..)

So anyway I'm done with my purchases and about to leave when in strides Prof Murthi. (yea the God of Distribution and Sales Mgmt fame..) He looks around with his characteristic restlessness, mutters something to aunty in Tamil, looks at me and says.. " So you hotshot MBAs, if you could change one thing in this shop to increase profits immediately what would you start with? "

Marketing student that I am, if there's one thing I've learnt, it's to never answer in 1 line what you could in 20. We marketing folks consider it our divine duty to answer a question with so much of irrelevant mumbo jumbo that the the guy asking the question either runs away shrieking, smashes your head to smithereens, kills himself or (n this is if you are really unlucky) launches into a marketing argument of his own..

So there I was using terms like 'low hanging fruits', 'supplier relationships','voice of the customer' and 'monthly burn' with reckless abandon, when he smiles and says in his characteristic baritone 'Are baba all you are taking about will follow soon. All this will cost money. But what comes first? What can you do without spending a dime?'

N then it hit me. Sometimes we are so engrossed in our solutions, we forget the original problem. Instead of analyzing the problem and trying to find a solution, we try to force fit our solution to the problem.

For the sake of closure, the solution of course was to identify which objects weren't being sold and just occupying shelf space cannibalizing other sales. Items like pillows, bedsheets and buckets which students generally buy in the beginning of the year (and not 6 months into the term) lay there staring at me and suddenly it all fit in.. What a sheer waste of valuable shelf space!

Important Lesson learnt: Always start afresh. Baggage is the biggest barrier to a consulting assignment..

Blog fri(tw)ittered away..

The posts have steadily reduced to a trickle and what was once a willful and enjoyable pastime has today almost become a burden on my mental faculties.. Why on earth this sea change ? Why is it that twitter seems so appealing and my once beloved blog has been relegated to the backburner? Is small the new sexy? Or have I just gone from articulate to bumbler?

In case you haven't gotten the drift yet, Twitter's taken the place of my blog. As with all things modern, it's crisp, effortless and trendy. Captures mind space and doesn't tax your creativity for more than a line or two. The piecemeal idea of frequent short updates spread over a course of the day seems a much better outlet to caged thoughts within rather than the one long all-encompassing approach of a blog.

But come to think of it who's stopping you from maintaining your blog posts like twitter? there isn't a minimum word limit after all to a blog post anyways.. N now since this is going nowhere lets bring this short tirade of self indulgence to a premature end by just saying 'I'm definitely gonna try to be more regular with my posts..'

Sensei Bose– the reawakening of the Rebel!

My entry for Metrotopia - the superhero branding competition...

Name: Sensei Bose

Superpowers: Eternal youth, superhuman strength

USP: Invisibility cloak of Renkoji

City & Reasons: Delhi is the crime capital of the country. It witnesses the highest number of violent crimes in India including murder, rape, dowry deaths, molestation and kidnapping. In 2007, the crime rate in Delhi stood at 357 cases per 100,000 people, against a national average of 167. In 2009 alone, 53244 criminal cases including 467 murders, 581 rapes, 1764 dacoit attacks and other heinous crimes have been recorded in Delhi. 

If there ever was a city in need of a superhero, it is indeed Delhi.

Background Story:

Day: Monday, Oct 19^th 2009 Place: Thuan Monastery, Japan

He lay back on the armchair and closed his eyes… he had a premonition of ill tidings. His premonitions were rarely wrong... His thoughts wandered back, to the night of that fateful plane crash in Tapei 65 years ago..

----------------

To the world, Aug 18 1945 took the life of one of India’s greatest freedom fighters, Subhash Chandra Bose – feverish investigations and rumors fuelled by the Indian government’s secrecy soon subsided, as India became more preoccupied with celebrating her new found independence. 

The K-21 heavy bomber had just lifted off fromTaihoku (Taipei) when there was a terrific explosion and the plane started vibrating heavily. ‘It’s a bomb. The cowards.. the main fuel line is ripped..We’re losing altitude!’ shouted Habibur Khan, his trusted aide. There was a resounding explosion and the acrylic stench of burnt flesh – that was the last thing Bose remembered before blackness prevailed…

It was a year before those eyes opened again… He tried to move but atrophy had overpowered his limbs. His dry crackled groan prompted a worried young monk to call the Marpapa. That was the first time he laid eyes on Master Thich Thai Thuan. There was a twinkle in his old wise eyes. He spoke and Bose could immediately sense a strange power emanating from that voice, ‘Sensei Bose, it indeed gladdens me to see you awake. Take rest now, we will speak when you are stronger!’ Bose drifted off again..

From that day on, Bose’s recovery was swift, willed on by his steely grit. He realized very soon that something was different.. He had crystal clear vision even without his charred thick rimmed glasses.. He had already noticed that all his flab was gone and his body looked much more supple and healthy. His aging limbs had become muscular and sinewy. His mind was raging with a million questions. Where was he? How did he survive that horrendous crash? What had they done to him? But Thuan didn’t seem to be in a hurry to answer his questions.. Any attempt to get answers was met with a calm smile and ‘All in good time Master Bose’.. It frustrated him no end, this calm countenance..

A week later Bose was allowed to venture out to the river.. He approached the crystal clear water and recoiled in horror… he couldn’t recognize his own face!! A handsome stranger stared back at him from the waters..

He burst into Master Thuan’s study ‘What have you done to me? What trickery is this? I want to know!’Master Thuan sighed and beckoned him to sit down..

” Master Bose, when you were brought to this temple, you were on the verge of death - Your face and neck were completely charred, your limbs broken! I had no alternative but to use our most closely guarded potion– the ‘furousen’ – the fountain of youth to save your life. You will never age. The Furousen also brings with it other powers which you will learn in due course.. “

Half a century later he was still discovering the full extent of his powers..

----------------

‘Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!’ The cry of anguish awoke him from his reverie.. ‘Oh my God! Master Thuan..’ he knew instantly. He rushed to the master’s quarters.. Thuan lay in a pool of dark blood, ‘Bose.. my friend. There is no time..it was Kalia!’ he coughed violently spitting out blood, ‘return to India. I...I stopped you all these years. But now the time has come.. My room.. The attic.. box..’ and he fell down motionless.

Bose had been trained enough to know that there was no time to lose.. he rushed to the master’s room, opened the trapdoor to the attic, and thrust the wrought iron chest under his cloak before jumping out of the window into the swirling waters below. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the entire monastery burst into one gigantic ball of fire..

The strong icy cold current and jagged rocks would have killed any ordinary mortal in an instant. But Bose was no ordinary mortal. He swam effortlessly and broke into a run as soon as he hit the bank not even pausing to catch a breath…

The next day a clean shaven, handsome young man dressed in a business suit boarded the flight from Tokyo to Delhi. The large iron chest did warrant a second look, but the false bottom and its deadly contents escaped the attention of the overworked airport crew.. 

Kalia! Bose knew that Kalia was the dreaded henchman of Shaitansingh, the dreaded politician and naxal warlord who ran his drug and human trafficking business out of Delhi.. 

Attire: Bose looked at himself in the cracked mirror at the cheap Delhi hotel. Not bad for a 112 year old he thought. Virgin alloy plated Japanese armor which couldn’t be pierced by bullet or blade, adorned his proud torso. At his hip swayed the dreaded twin blades of Shinkoji shimmering in the twilight. The large crossbow of Tsun Jo (folklore had it that this bow had never missed its target) swung effortlessly from his broad shoulders. Wrapped around his neck was the famed invisibility cloak of Renkoji. Twin ankle holsters carried the daggers of Time, betraying their supernatural origins through a pale blue glow.

The rebel was ready for retribution..

Blue - A review

Yesterday I blew 140 bucks on Blue,

sadly none of the actors seemed to have a clue.

Lara doesnt leave much to imagination,

sanjay Dutt seems to have a perennial bout of indigestion.

Akshay Kumar looks more like a goat,

The biggest role in the movie is that of the boat.

Zayed falls for Katrina's guiles,

The lacklustre comedy fails to even bring smiles.

Fail to see where all the money was spent,

this mindless drivel wont even earn enough to pay rent.

N since I'm running out of rhyming verses,

I'll stop before you ladies hit me with your purses.. (sorry kuch aur ja nahi rahi tha)

Pigs can fly!!

We had a few creative snaps taken for the Placement brochure. After the photoshoot was done it was time for some of our own creative juices to kick in...

                Step 1: The constipated look on our faces

                     Step 2: Take off!

                                                                

                                 Step 3: In full flight!

Good times... Sure is fun to be a student again!!

Placecom

Got into the Placement Committee! Yipppppeeee...