Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid..

A couple of excerpts from Bill Bryson's book which I liked immensely.. (It's not plagiarism if you mention the source :P)
Here Bill describes Mr Milton's dive from the tallest platform into lake Ahquabi in Iowa..



I don't know what happened - whether he lost his nerve or realized he was approaching the water with a murderous velocity or what - but about 3 quarters of the way down he seemed to have second thoughts about the whole business and suddenly began to flail like someone who's chute hadn't opened. When he was perhaps 30 ft above the water he gave up flailing and tried a new tack. He spread his arms and legs wide, in the shape of an X, evidently hoping that exposing maximum amount of surface  area would somehow slow his fall..
It didn't.
He hit the water -impacted really is the word for it at approximately 600 miles an hour. At such a speed water effectively becomes a solid. I don't believe Mr Milton penetrated it at all, but just bounced off it about 15 feet, limbs suddenly very loose and then lay on top of the water, still, like an autumn leaf, spinning gently..


Another one describing how they dealt with school bullies in their time..


Their speciality was to torment any children smaller than them which was all children. The Butters were big to begin with but because they were held back year after year, they were much much larger than any other child in their class. 
Generally the best option was to have some small kid that you could offer as a sacrifice. Lumpy Kowalski was ideal for this as he was indifferent to pain and fear, or possibly just didn't speak. (It was never clear which). 
Also the Butters  were certain to be grossed out by his dirty pants, so they would merely paw him for a bit and then withdraw with pained, confused faces.




(Adopted from Bill Bryson's 'The life and times of the Thunderbolt Kid')