UNSATISFIED.....

What is it that we want from life? Have you ever wondered about this ? I'm sure you have.... I mean something that you really really want....

Not that big promotion at work... Not that cosy little penthouse... Not that shiny new SUV... Not that investment portfolio that's heavier than Hrithik's benchpress... Not a gang of cronies hanging by your every word... toh phir kya?

In school, my ultimate goal in life was to become a peon in Loyola's... Wear those mud color work clothes, that congress topi, leave a trail of red paan spit behind you and boss over kids at school... Even the class bullies who used to pick on bespectacled nerds like me used to be wary of Dadaram shipai.. And the icing on the cake was getting to drive the big shiny red and yellow bus.. aah.... heaven...

With time came wisdom and 'Shipai' didn't seem like a very appealing career move anymore... Then came phases when the 'only thing I ever ever want to be in life' ranged from cricketer, to journalist, to Mallu matinee idol, to writer, to pilot (this one was nipped in the bud cos of my gigantic glasses... ), to weapons designer (yea.. this one was weird even by my standards)....

Then came a period of stability wherein my ambition remained pretty much stable at... ' I wanna be a couch potato... I'll live off my parents pension and stay with them all life long.. Maybe I can even talk my wife into working while I laze around at home...' This phase lasted for quite a while... But my dad's patience didn't, so that was that..

So here I am now writing code for an MNC.... Is this what I wanna do with my life? Is this my... kya kehte usse... Laksha? I wish I could act all cool n say.. No this is not my true calling... I'm made for much bigger better things... But truth be told... I dont know...

What if I never ever do know? Is that such a bad thing... I have a nice little life chalked out for myself.. Would it be such a bad thing if I never ever found something I'm better at than this ? Work from 10 - 8 on weekdays, the occasional movie on a weekend, hanging around in a city I was born in and have grown to love... I think it's not too shabby an arrangement...

N what If I do find my true calling whilst going thru the proverbial mid-life crisis? Will I switch from a well-settled job to pursue my dreams...at the risk of losing a comfy lifestyle I've grown accustomed to? Would you?

Again... truth be told.... I don't know...All in all.... Whatever I may became, I just hope I remain one thing... ME...(I know... cliched..) cos frankly I think that's a pretty good person to be.. (Applause! Applause!)